It is all about slowing down, taking time for yourself and establishing new habits that will last a lifetime.
Theme – Leaning into Resistance
Consider how easy it is to go into fight or flight around physical, mental, and emotional pain, the invitation this week was to find ways to ease it.
What is giving you pain and what has worked to help you ease it -- mindfully (not chemically)?
Personally speaking, I can categorise the kind of pain that I experience into three groups.
- Emotional trauma – this is something that can not very often be predicted or avoided. The heartache that comes with tragedy, loss, betrayal, abuse, rejection and many more.
- Physical pain – accidents, toothache, knocks and bumps etc. These are the things that should have been able to be avoided but that I didn’t see coming, well not in time enough to prevent them happening.
- Long-term pain – the kind that is either constant or re-occurring on a regular basis and that there is no much that can be done to resolve the source of the problems.
Regardless of which one hits I think the shock element that is the worst. The moment when something first hurts (stepping on somethings sharp, back spasms, biting on something that subsequently leads to toothache etc. loss, a death, a large-scale accident etc.) and then initially having to deal with the concentrated feelings that are a result.
The minor stuff in section 2 are probably the easiest to deal with. I have a high pain threshold and also hate taking pain relief of any kind, unless I really cannot manage my day/night without it. Distraction is a technique utilised for all manner of situations and is the one that I tend to favour. A long, hot shower when my back twinges, or turn the music up and sing, or more often I get myself lost in a reading book, or in putting words down either on a screen or in a notebook.
Number 3 seems to have caught hold of me in couple of ways. As I get older there are a lot of things that are beginning to not work as well as they used to, which is to be expected but then there are the things that have a specific cause or a localised point that they stem from.
My back is and will continue to be an issue. After getting hit by a car my spine/hip is misaligned by approx. 2cm on my right side. There is nothing that will provide a long-term fix but there are things that can alleviate the problems. One is a course of treatment with a chiropractor, which I am looking into but the other is to learn to recognise the warning signs. It was described to me that when my back goes into spasm it is not necessarily caused by one thing, but a combination of little things, sometimes over days that eventually tip the balance over the edge and once the threshold is reached that is what triggers the spasms. The key then is to not add any more to the pile and to get the balance back to a manageable level. So, whenever I do things physical I have to be aware of the consequences and therefore not do too many tasks all together but space myself out. I still get things done but I have to be patient and drive through them all like the bulldozer I once was. I love cracking-on, seeing a task finished and be able to tick the completed box, but that is now not one of my options.
My body has also taken an extreme dislike to mozzie bite, which after a holiday in Corfu now manifest as blood poisoning and not just the annoying itch. Consequently, I get cellulitis if bitten anywhere near my feet and have no option but to take a course of antibiotics. It was suggested that Garlic tablets and Vitamin B taken daily would stop the bites. I was sceptical but was diligent about it and over a year later I am pleased to report that I very rarely get bitten any more. Mind you I still never venture outdoors without repellent spray and a citronella candle for when we are playing alfresco.
I have not touched on section 1 (emotional pain) because I do not believe there are any strategies that will ever help the initial wrenching response when something that significant happens. Also, that each episode is different, there is no common ground to tap into. Once the initial shock abates, even a little there are practical avenues that can be taken but none of them will have any significance when the shock is too great.
So, as to the impact of this week, I’m not so sure that I have learnt anything new, but it has given me an opportunity to focus on things I instinctively over the years knew about the way I deal with pain and the put it into an order.