Use computers or a conversation with tech support you’ve had as inspiration.
It won’t work.
Have you tried turning it off-and-on again?
Yes, but there’s still nothing.
Have you tried checking the connections, that the leads are all plugged in correctly?
YESsss … I’ve done THAT.
Is it plugged in?
YES, and the plug is turned on … I’m not stupid.
Okay, let’s have the serial number and the company reference information and I’ll get an engineer out.
Where can I find that?
The back of the base unit.
I can’t see it … we’ve got a power-cut.
REALLY … if it’s still not working when you have electricity, call me back.