Slowing down, taking time for yourself and establishing new habits that will last a lifetime.
Theme – Coming into Focus
The focus this week was to begin the process of examining what the clearing experience has been like. To recognize that the changes, both comfortable and uncomfortable are all part of the journey.
What has this journey revealed about yourself?
The main issue I have begun to understand is that even though I considered that there were many aspects of my life, and my home that needed to be de-cluttered in order for me to put my writing life into perspective and move it forward is in fact not totally correct.
My life and the way I live it has been revealed as okay. I am happy with who I am, where I live and the way I live and through undertaking the various exercises, meditations and habit changing activities I have discovered that there is little that warrants change within the house.
The big problem has, as it turns out always been my attitude towards me achieving success. I was raised in the knowledge that only the best will do and that if you are not going to be the best, or top of your game then you have failed. This has always made me feel as if I shouldn’t do or try anything with any conviction as I might not be the expert that has always been expected of me.
I now realise that this is not true, but it has taken me to well into my fifties to finally appreciate that it is alright to not be the top achiever at everything and, goodness forbit but it is okay to even fail. More importantly I now understand that by not being an expert in something is not that I have failed, but just that maybe that it was something that I did not have the ability to succeed in.
Not everyone can be good at everything was a hard concept to get my head around and more importantly believe it about myself.
I think even today there is a lot of emphasis put on teaching children to believe that they are special and that just maybe, they are also being set-up to not deal with failure as well as they should be.
We are all individual and unique … just like everyone else.
All this stuff about putting yourself first and looking after number one has me thinking about the lesson it is really teaching. I mean, should we always be number one and if we are all number ones then how does that work in a society where we all have to live together?
These days there is a huge deal about the notion that all children are winners and there are n o losers. Stats for exams often average the scores out and attribute them to the facility rather than have a league table of personal achievements, which as far as I can see goes no where to teach children the it is impossible to succeed at everything.
In my day inhouse tests were set and the results were available for all to read on the notice boards. It was clear to see who were the ones that came top in most things and who was last, but it was also evident that some were simply average, which is no mean achievement. There were also those that excelled in sports, those that favoured science and so on.
Now here is the strangest thing, the ones that were last in everything rather than being singled out for special classes they were incorporated into the learning and kept with their peers but, and this is the main issue they more often than not found themselves being helped by the others, especially the ones that were in the top percent.
I’m not saying that they were not ridiculed or bullied for that matter, I very much expect that they were, but it was rarely from their own classmates. This is written from experience. Although I was in the top group for some subjects, but I was very much bottom of the class in others. I hated all sports and would do my best to get out of participating in the joint class periods when at all possible, however I was so often protected from gym or cross-country by being chosen as a reserve for a game, safe in the knowledge that I would sit on the side-lines and never be called on to play. The unity within the various houses was held in very high esteem by everyone and there was a pride taken in all members.
I wonder if the same can be said for schools today.
Also, there has been a shift in the way children are raised at home and the laws that protect them. Children are too often brought up to believe that they can do no wrong, that are special, that they are unique and therefore are often unprepared for the realities of real life.
They grow-up expecting that all things are equal, which they are not.
Could the unrealistic expectations of the younger generation today be a contributor to the increase in the records of depression amongst them … I don’t know.
What I do know is that at some time in their young lives it will stand them in good stead to know that life in the adult world is not a level playing field.
What is the clarity that is coming into focus for you now?
- My deepest yearning is … to be a recognised author
- What I know for sure is … that may never happen (unless I am one of the lucky ones)
- I believe that I'm on this planet to … do good (if possible) but always remember to cause no harm