Slowing down, taking time for yourself and establishing new habits that will last a lifetime.
Theme - Forgiving
Today is Remembrance Sunday so this topic seems very apt.
This year commemorates the 100th anniversary of the Armistice in 1918 that signalled the end of World War One. Red poppies are known as the mark of remembrance but, there are also other colours worn as symbols.
- RED – traditional symbol for all the people that never came home
- PURPLE – Commemorates the animals that lost their lives
- WHITE – The Peace Pledge Union (respect without glorification)
- BLACK – Remembering the black African and Caribbean communities
On a personal note this I have found this week trying. I have been very lucky in my life to not really have many issues with other people. There are no family feuds and mostly no wrong doing by others that have affected my life, or my life path … except two people who I don’t think I will ever forgive or want to.
How does it feel when you think about giving someone a pass?
Rationally I know that dwelling on the wrongs of others is futile and that all you are doing is hurting yourself, in retrospect. The problem is that some things eat so deep that that is contravenes all the laws by which you have been brought up with, the teachings that you should be nice to one another which should be a universal law up held by all. The world would certainly be a nicer place if it was.
That, as we all know is unrealistic. Too many people are quite happy to walk all over others to get their own way. This can easily be seen in the bigger world issues but unfortunately it is just a prevalent in everyday life. Then the abiding factor is that ‘It is not fair’. It is not fair that they should be allowed to get away with whatever it is they have done and when this is on a personal level it often signals the inner need for revenge.
To me that in some case to forgive someone is simply condoning that their actions were insignificant in your life which in turn leads them to consider that they can do it again.
I am no different to wanting revenge, but I can live with most things and although miffed at the time I can let it slide as insignificant to maintain my inner calm. I believe in karma and, although I may never know if it has been administrated, I do feel that everyone will have their comeuppance. However, there are a couple of things that cut too deep … for these I will never have any forgiveness.
What would it take for you to let go of needing to be right or see justice served?
Personally, I do not buy into the whole concept of retribution on a basic level, so I am (mostly) willing to let things slide, mostly for the sake of my own peace of mind. I don’t think that justice is ever fully served because on matter what happens to the other person it can never make up for the wrongs they have done. A blank, crisp, clean piece of paper once defaced can never be restored completely, it will never go back to the pristine condition it once was. That is how I feel about most wrongs done to me but rather than keep trying to iron things out … just move on.
What are you ready to forgive in yourself?
There is not much in my life that has affected me so deeply that I need to forgive, either in myself or others. Don’t get me wrong I have been anything but a saint all my life and I am fully aware of the issues that I have caused others but, I always try to sort things out at the time if I am the cause. If I feel I am wrong I will admit it and if I am proved to be wrong, I will apologise. Now I know that saying sorry is nothing near enough, but it is often enough of a start to be able to sort things out.
Lee Montgomery-Hughes
Heed should be taken to what adults have to say
They’re the ones who teach you the right way
To mind our P’s and our Q’s, is the correct thing to do
To grow into people respected and true
But these things they impart, to help get us by
So often turn out to be no more than a lie
Be nice to others and they will be nice just the same
Never take the another’s name is vain
Look after the pennies and the pounds will look out for their own
Work hard at school so a good job can be found
Never cheat, or take that what’s not yours
Keep your nose clean, on the right side of our laws
An honest day pay is the straight way to go
Even though by the end you may have little to show
The lesson is hard, that these things are a lie
Installed in the child as their childhood slips by
Not everyone is nice, no matter what it’s about
Respect is not earnt, it’s money that will shout
Prayers are not answered, or so it would seem
And life remains hard with little reward for the keen
Robbing the system profits more than hard graft
Jobs for the boys remains a time-honoured craft
Breaking the law opens more than one door
That poor honest workers can’t afford to explore
But the biggest propaganda inflicted on the young
Is the paying of lip-service to all that’s done wrong
Because no matter the incident, who you annoy, hurt or fight
Simply saying ‘SORRY’ … can never magically put everything right
Lee Montgomery-Hughes © 2017 (All Rights Reserved)