Slowing down, taking time for yourself and establishing new habits that will last a lifetime.
Theme – Feeling Good
The focus this week was to raise the vibration of joy (both internally and externally) by doing things that feel good.
In what ways have you noticed that you look and feel younger this week?
Not at all. I feel more content with how I am going about things, getting less bothered by the little things and am a little more easy-going but as to the younger bit well I think that is always going to be a hard one as I have never been known for acting my age.
Have you noticed a spring in your step or that your eyes are brighter and more sparkly?
No … I am usually quite an upbeat person especially when around others and when I am on my own that is my time to relax, turn-off and have some quiet time.
What are some of your indicators that "steeping in joy" is working its magic?
It would be hard to tell. I love life, I love the challenges that it throws at me (well most of them) and I am equally as happy in company or on my own.
A few things that I have started doing since embarking on this quest that make me happy are …
- The house is consistently tidier than it was, and I have come to terms with the fact that if I want it so then I have to do it and not get stressed because I didn’t make the mess
- Making time for me, even if it is just sitting for one minute of each day gazing out to sea
- I am more tolerant of things that do not go the way I would wish
- I have learnt some new strategies to cope with things that might worry me
- I worry less about inconsequential stuff
- I no longer feel guilty about saying no or putting my needs first sometimes
Make a list of experiences that you love or have longed for.
This again is dependent on the age at which it is completed. It would have been very different had I done it even only a few years ago. These are just a few as there are far too many to list
LOVED …
- Living in my dream location
- My pets and helping rescues
- My life as it is now
- The university experiences
- The people in and out of my life
- Literary success
- To be an acclaimed author
- To not lose my health
- Not to lose my mind (dementia)
- To enjoy life to the end
Doing things that feel good have often be associated with self-indulgence especially if undertaken all the time however, I feel that this notion has contributed to a lack of well-being and denial to not feel bad about doing the things we love to do, especially in people of a certain age. It seems to me that being pampered can come with a tinge of it being a guilty pleasure or spending extended periods of time on a hobby as preoccupation or going to the gym as fanatical, which is all too often ridiculed.
However, there is a fine line between things being an enthusiastic passion, to be commended as a way of keeping the body and mind active and healthy and it being an all-consuming obsession. When that is the case it is far from beneficial for the individual or those that are around them. The fixation keeps them away from everyday life and the interaction with people that do not share the same inclinations and although the person may not realise it, they inadvertently alienate themselves from society.
Alternatively, total focus on something could be the key to many other physical and psychological issues. To always be around like-minded people could provide an outlet for those that feel compromised in so-called normal settings and give them not only a purpose but also opportunities for safe social interaction. People with dementia have been found to prosper better when surrounded by the times that they can still remember. There are several places that have adopted the phaenomena of a certain era to fill the living spaces, the findings show that people are more relaxed and able to cope with the lack of recent memories. It is my opinion that having memory books and prompts of the life that they no longer regard as theirs could be more damaging than to let them live happily in their own world.
I have seen too often someone content with where they are and the era they consider that they are living in to be totally distraught having gone through old photos and past events with staff or to have people visit and to not know who they are. They then become unsettled, often angry, disorientated and inconsolable. It must be soul-destroying for the family as well. There is a fine line to be trod down the path of out-of-sight-out- out-of-mind, but in certain circumstances I can’t help wondering whether it would be more beneficial for all, to simply cut all ties.
One of the things on my ‘longed-for’ list is to enjoy my life right up to the end and to not lose my mind … of all the things that affect us in old age, anything that has a dementia element is what I fear most.