5 August 2018
Blog Post
A Year to clear what is holding you back by Stephanie Bennett Vogt
It is all about slowing down, taking time for yourself and establishing new habits that will last a lifetime.
Theme – Validating
This week we studied the energetic power of validation and the effects that words have.
How does what you say affect those around you?
My policy is to try and always be as positive as I can wherever I am and whatever I am doing. I am not a glass half empty, or a glass half full kind of person but one that works on the principle that the glass is always refillable. As a creative writing tutor, it is really important to encourage people to feel good about their writing, to inspire them to continue and to guide them to improve (regardless of the position in which they stand when they start). We all need positivity in our lives and not just when the chips are down.
I try to make sure that the people around give me a positive vibe, hardworking, enthusiastic, kind, loving, curious people that have a passion for things and life. I try hard to stay away from gossip, ignorance, and those that drain my energy or demand too much of my time with little regard for the impact. Naturally, I will initially give my time freely but when it comes to the point that it is clear they only have a self-interest in everything then for my sanity I walk away, although usually this is a last course of action for me. I like balance in my life (maybe something to do with being a Libra) and like people to put in as much effort as they expect me to do. I like to see people succeed in whatever they are involved in, but I will not be the one that does everything for them.
Can you feel the energy change (in the other person, yourself, the space) when you compliment someone versus when you critique them?
Making someone else feel good, no matter how insignificant you might think it is cultivates a positive attitude for not only them, but also for me. I feel good when I make someone else smile or feel good about themselves. My father always told me to be nice to the people who are employed to do things for you because they are the ones that can make or break a meal, a holiday, or any experience.
I always say Thank You and Please and if I can throw in a compliment along the way so well and good. Much more is achieved through being polite than rudeness or arrogance. I try hard to never make a fuss especially if something has gone awry and prefer to have a quiet word rather than vent my frustrations in front of the world. Things do go wrong, regardless of the best planning or intentions and to be honest I hate this blame culture we are in at the moment.
What did it feel like to make a list of 50 positive things about yourself?
I really struggled with this. I am of an era where it was frowned upon to blow-your-own-trumpet and classed as arrogance to show-off even excellent traits. Pride comes before a fall.
So, I listed no more than eleven and even then, it took me ages to identify things that could be included.
Did you feel you could keep going, or did you feel like you had to fake it to come up with the full 50?
As a child from a certain era I was brought up with the notion of humility and to therefore be humble and modest. Pretentiousness was seen as a rather uncouth trait to exhibit and one that should be shunned. Therefore, not only did I fail to find 50 positive things about me, but I also had no inclination to add things which I consider to be false.
I does make me wonder what those around me, family, friends and acquaintances would put on such a list … mind you on the other hand I am not sure that I would really want to know. I find complements difficult to accept even though I am one that will dish them out without a qualm.
In conclusion, I am not too sure what to make of the things addressed this week. I think there can be far too much negativity in our world at the moment and I loath the way that, the young especially regard everything a disposable, which includes the way they treat others. Good manners seem to be classed as an old-fashioned concept for many and if the situation forces them to be used they are often administered with a caustic edge. Have-a-nice-day or Thanks are so often dispensed merely as words from a script issued because it is the policy of the establishment and is something that I find really sad.
To end on a positive note … I will always look for the good in everything and when my findings fall short, well there will be plenty of more opportunities to do and find the nice things. The things that make me, and hopefully others smile.