A Year to clear what is holding you back by Stephanie Bennett Vogt
It is all about slowing down, taking time for yourself and establishing new habits that will last a lifetime.
Theme – Accepting & Allowing
The focus this week was to cultivate the principle of receptivity.
What does it feel like to accept and allow things to be as they are?
This is not something that comes naturally to me. I’m not the typical control freak that interferes with everything and wants it my own way … it is more a personal issue. I like things to be perfect, or as perfect as I can possibly achieve and so find it difficult to allow things accept imperfection, especially when there is something I can do to fix it.
I am gradually learning that I do not have to immediately put things away, tidy-up, finish something straight that could wait until later. One thing I have changed is that rather than go straight to the study when I finish taking the creative writing group on a Friday to do all the things I have agreed to, I now have lunch and leave all that stuff until later in the day. It is not important that it is all completed right away, in fact the only person that ever expects me to do it is me.
Also, I have stopped getting so worked-up about the incompetence of others. There seems to be little pride in a job-well-done for a lot of people these days and as such I have to accept that there is often little I can do to change that. What I can and do is to avoid known culprits be that people or firms, organisations or shops and if I do have to deal with them I make sure I have as many bases covered before doing so. That said I still manage to be caught-out on numerous occasions … I just don’t think the way they do and therefore cannot predict the level of stupidity they will operate at.
Example: My mobile phone provider issues the bill on the 5th of every month so I always go online and pay it on that day, however the records already show that my account if overdue even though it also states that the payment deadline is the 12th. This is itself is not really a huge issue except that the late payment notice appears on my credit ratings. This apparently is something to do with the computer programming and they know it is a fault and the impact it has on their customers but have still not done anything about it.
What does it feel like to accept yourself exactly you are?
It has taken a long time for me to be comfortable with who I am and the way I look. I have always been over-weight and consequently on carious diets throughout my entire life so far. I used to get embarrassed about my size, guilty about eating out and constantly denying myself things to give the impression that I was at least trying to slim down. However, and I think this could be an age thing I now no longer care. I do avoid things that are likely to make an issue of my size, don’t go swimming so I don’t have to put on a costume and more importantly have to do the communal shower stuff, I avoid group changing rooms when buying clothes and will put things back and walk out if a private cubical is not an option and stay away from activities that have a weight restriction. What I do not do anymore is feel ashamed. A nurse recently advised me it would be in my best interest to shed some of the pounds and I asked why. Apparently, I will stand a better chance of living longer but when I asked if that would get rid of the arthritis, cure the blood poisoning I get every time I am bitten by mozzies or reline my back after the car accident a few years ago she said that there was no evidence that weight had any impact on those symptoms. I asked why I would want to spend longer alive being unhappy because I was constantly endeavouring to lose weight and she couldn’t answer me. Anyway, I have a fear of being a senile old biddy in a nursing home or worse still have some physical impairment that places me in the need of constant care from others. I have worked in nursing homes and care-in-the-community and despair at the lack of pride in doing a job properly or not being allowed the time to do it because of cuts to services and funding. This brings me straight back to my incompetence gripe.
What gets in your way?
The only thing that gets in my way is … me.
Accepting and Allowing … to be honest I have not really engaged with this week as well as with others. I am not really one for putting me first and so tend to go-with-the-flow of what others around me need, want, request or in some cases demand. But one thing that I cannot ever accept is bad manners.
It truly annoys me when forced by situation that some people are so ignorant they will not deem to even pass the time of day with you, let alone engage in polite conversation but simply act as if you do not exist. Blatant bad manners are inexcusable regardless of the situation and coupled with an arrogance as to their rights being more important than everyone else ultimately upsets the whole ethos of any gathering.
In this situation allowing is undertaken, however begrudgingly for the sake of harmony but there will never be any acceptance as far as I am concerned. If it was my choice, without hurting others I would have nothing further to do with people like this but sometimes, just sometimes my good manners have to kick in for the sake of others.
Tragically, I am finding that this kind of thing has reached epidemic proportions with a percentage of people the world over. Maybe it is time for me to accept that there is not much I can do to change that and allow myself some slack rather than allowing it to eat away at me.