(Madisyn Taylor)
We are born equipped to experience a complex array of diverse emotions. Many of us, however, are uncomfortable confronting our most powerful emotions. We may shy away from delight and despair and deny life's colours by retreating into a world of monotone grey. We may numb ourselves to what we are truly feeling. It's easier to suppress our emotions than to deal with them, so we may momentarily turn to pleasures such as alcohol, food, sugar, shopping and too much television. We may even numb our hearts. While it's normal to temporarily seek distractions as a means of coping with intense emotions, numbing yourself prevents you from confronting your issues and keeps you from ever finding resolution or peace. When you are numb, there is no pain or powerlessness, but there can also be no joy or healing.
The activities that numb you may seem harmless or pleasurable but using them to numb yourself diminishes the quality of your life. Numbing yourself so that you don't have to feel intense emotions can often satisfy a surface need while blocking your awareness of a deeper need. You may find solace in food or shopping when what you really need is spiritual nourishment. The less you feel, the less alive you feel. Your feelings add vividness to your experiences and serve to connect you to the world around you. It is possible to disavow yourself of numbing behaviours a little at a time and once again taste life's rich flavours. When you sense that you are engaging in a particular behaviour simply to deaden your emotions, stop and ask yourself why. Examining the feelings that drive you to numb yourself can help you understand what is triggering your desire to emotionally fade out.
With each numbing activity that you cut out of your life, you'll find yourself being more aware and experiencing a greater emotionally acuity. Senses once shrouded by the fog of numbness become sharp and acute. Traumas and pain long hidden will emerge to the forefront of your consciousness and reveal themselves so that you can heal them. You'll discover a deeper you, a self that is comfortable experiencing and working through intense emotions with courage and grace.
My Thoughts:
My first reaction to dealing with issues was to hit the drink, not on a daily basis or with a need to obliterate everything, but to have one or two to help me face the world.
Now I write.
I do not necessarily get down in detail the things that have led to the way I feel but rather the way they have made me feel or hurt. Then I file it away. If I find that my mind is still stressing over it, I will go back to the writing to edit it and / or add more aspect, ones that I may have missed out initially. Finally, after doing that time and again things will ease, it will become less of a stress and gradually fade to a more manageable issue.
Weather that is down to the writing or simply because of the passage of time … I’m not sure, but this method works for me.