(Madisyn Taylor)
Anyone in a long-term relationship knows that the dance of intimacy involves coming together and moving apart. Early in a relationship, intense periods of closeness are important in order to establish the ground of a new union. Just as a sapling needs a lot more attention than a full-grown tree, budding relationships demand time and attention if they are to fully take root. Once they become more established, the individuals in the union begin to turn their attention outward again, to the other parts of their lives that matter, such as work, family, and friendships. This is natural and healthy. Yet, if a long-term relationship is to last, turning towards one another recurrently, with the same curiosity, attention, and nurturance of earlier times, is essential.
In a busy and demanding world full of obligations and opportunities, we sometimes lose track of our primary relationships, thinking they will tend to themselves. We may have the best intentions when we think about how nice it would be to surprise our partner with a gift or establish a weekly date night. Yet somehow, life gets in the way. We may think that our love is strong enough to survive without attention. Yet even mature trees need water and care if they are to thrive.
One of the best ways to nourish a relationship is through communication. If you feel that a distance has grown between you and your partner, you may be able to bridge the gap by sharing how you feel. Do your best to avoid blame and regret. Focus instead on the positive. Sometimes, just acknowledging that there is distance between you has the effect of bringing the relationship into balance. In other cases, more intense effort and attention may be required. You may want to set aside time to talk and come up with solutions together. Remember to have compassion for each other.
My Thoughts:
Even after all these years together we lose whole blocks of time just talking. To be honest I probably couldn’t tell you just what we find to talk about … cabbages and kings, as the saying goes sums it up.
Raw passion has settled into a comfortable familiarity, but the spark is still there. We always naturally hold hands when out walking, kiss often and for no reason, and easily make each other laugh. Even though it has never been plain sailing we have, throughout it all become best friends. The kind of friends that put up with the quirks and idiosyncrasies of the other one, even though sometimes their actions are enough to drive you to distraction.
We argue, as normal couples do, but now have the strength of relationship to talk things through. We are not perfect; our lives are not perfect because total all-encompassing perfection just does not exist, but our life as we know it is pretty good … and that’ll do me just fine.