(Madisyn Taylor)
Every time you interact with others, you have the choice to listen to, acknowledge, and let go of their words, or you can take what they are saying personally. Taking things personally is often the result of perceiving a person's actions or words as an affront or slight. In order to take something personally, you must read negative intent in an individual's words or actions. But what people do and say has no bearing upon you and is usually based on their own experiences, emotions, and perceptions. If you attempt to take what they do or say personally, you may end up feeling hurt without reason.
If you are tempted to take a comment or action personally, creating some distance between yourself and the other person can help you. Try to determine what is at the root of your feelings. Ask yourself if the other person's words or actions are just reinforcing some insecurity within you or if you can really be sure that an offense was intended. You may even want to ask them what they meant. Finally, put yourself in the other person's shoes. Instead of taking their words as the truth, or as a personal affront, remember that whatever was said or done is based on their opinion and is more reflective of what is going on inside of them, rather than having anything to do with you. You may have been an easy target for someone having a bad day, and their comments may have been offered with no ill intentions.
When you recognize that what anyone says or does doesn't necessarily have anything to do with you, you will no longer feel hurt or attacked. Your life is personal to you, and it is up to you to influence your own value and sense of well-being. While it's easy to take things personally, you should never let anyone's perceptions or actions affect how you see yourself or your worth.
My Thoughts:
I am very guilty of reading things into what other say, especially on a personal level. I grew up with verbal criticism and even after many years, I still find it difficult to not hear judgement in things that are said to me.
I worry what others think of me, and I know that is crazy because at the end of the day if it not something that is going to affect my life choices then there is no real reasoning behind it. But still I worry. Often taking to heart snide comments or throw-away statements.
This could also be linked to the fact I was an only child and have never been comfortable in the company of others that I do not know really well. Children raised with other siblings are naturally exposed to rivalry, bickering and teasing, these are things that are totally alien to me. If I am the butt of any of them, I don’t know how to handle the situation. I automatically consider it as being tormented and as such will try to get away as fast as possible, but I will also then make a point of not being in that company again.
As a tutor, things are different. It is a different ‘me’ that holds court with those that have chosen to be part of the groups and workshops I run. This me is the outgoing, sociable, a live wire that is hell bent of inspiring others. This me is the one that instigates events, encourages enthusiastically, finds something good in everything others have had the courage to share and thrives with like-minded people around me. But basically, in my private life I am a loner. I enjoy my own company, never get bored and do not crave any interaction with other people, and only feel comfortable with those close to me.
I am a stereotypical Libra … holding both ends of the scales in the middle, either achieving perfect balance or tipping them either way to the extreme.