Real love and true emotional intimacy exist when two people are free and safe to be completely real with each other in every moment.
(Madisyn Taylor)
Intimacy without responsibility.
How did you react when reading those words? Maybe a little shocked? It probably doesn't mean what you think.
Wendyne Limber: The title is very provocative and as you might imagine, I have had some unusual responses and reactions to the title. Most people who ask about it are curious, intrigued, and excited to know what it means. Some have been offended and think it has something to do with being sexual and irresponsible. It is actually about being in relationships with people you love without feeling responsible for their reactions, pain, feelings, or even success or joy. Also, it is an attitude of allowing people to be responsible for their own reactions and feelings so that communication with another can be real and truthful.
People are fearful of speaking their truth because they are afraid of the reaction of the person they are speaking to. We all want people to love and approve of us and will do almost anything to get that. People are afraid of hurting others' feelings, making people angry, and even falsely believe they could kill someone if the truth were spoken, i.e., if I tell my truth he will have a heart attack. Real love and true emotional intimacy exist when two people can be completely free to be real, whatever that means in the moment.
Having a voice is being able to tell someone when you feel sad, happy, angry, shamed, judged, scared. When you can release these kinds of feelings, your body is free and back in balance.
My Thoughts:
Empathy … the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.
To not have any responsibility towards how someone feels about what you do and how you behave borders on sociopathic behaviour. The idea of not being able to see things from the point of view of others, or rather choosing when to makes people very cold and uncaring.
I think it would be a difficult environment if everyone acted this way because no matter how much you think things will not affect you, you are invariably wrong. As far as I am concerned, if there was no empathy there would not be as many brilliant books written, no sentimental songs or communal outcries against atrocities.
The world needs people that speak their minds, but it also needs those that empathies with the causes they represent, or nothing would ever change.